For every July 4th, my family travels to my uncle's lakehouse in Smith Mountain Lake. It gets pretty lively – my aunt, uncle, cousins, my parents, my sister, her family, and me make a full house. With the addition of the three grandkids (my two and my nephew), things have become a little chaotic. But I love it. A great place to bond with family, my uncle plays Beatles songs on the guitar at night and we sing along. We spend the days swimming, boating, kayaking, playing cards, and drinking wine. Last year, we were sitting on the dock (drinking wine) while the little ones (all in their life jackets) splashed in a baby pool we had set up in the center of our chairs. Nate had not yet gone into the actual lake, despite offers from me, his uncle, and his grandparents to take him for a swim. My aunt started trying to convince him, making a compelling argument about how much fun it was and how he might see some fish. He made an exasperated sound and said, “Just drink your wine.”
We all laughed. The story is now legendary and I have probably told it to every mom friend I have in Astoria. Back at the lake now, I am writing this very post from the dock while Nate and Willa have some quiet time. Nate has still refused to go on a lake, other than on a raft or boat. He has a cautious nature that I that I think might be good, but could also hold him back. I try to encourage him to try new things, like big slides and lake swimming, but he takes everything at his own pace. A strong-willed kid, he cannot be easily convinced to do anything he finds frightening. And I wonder is that ok? Should I try harder to get him to do the things that are a bit scary to him, knowing he might actually enjoy and it might make him a little braver the next time he encounters something new? Or should I follow his lead based on his own comfort level and just... drink my wine?
Yesterday, we took my uncle's boat out on the lake. In the open water, my uncle sped the boat up very fast, tilting and jolting it over wakes. As we raced along, I personally felt slightly terrified. Then Nate started screaming gleefully and laughing with his daredevil sister, while singing The Lego Movie Song “Everything is Awesome”. Clearly, everyone has their own idea of fear and fun. I will continue to encourage him to try new things and make sure he knows that I will support him in any new adventure. But I don't think I should push him. I have my own set of fears and I have no urge for him to lose all sense of risk. If he finds boating at breakneck speeds fun, he will probably find other things fun in the future that frighten me. In which case, I'd better stock up on wine.
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