Astoriamom

Practicing Gratitude

When Nate was a newborn, I started keeping a gratitude journal. I tried to spend a minute each night writing down at least one thing for which I was grateful. An important practice because I needed reminding of all my good fortune. Even though I now had something so precious and so wanted, the daily struggles of exhaustion and new parenthood often distracted me from all the little blessings.

I admit I have not kept up with the journal. But I do still find the practice of gratitude extremely important. We all have those everyday trials that challenge us, some more than others of course. But we also all have blessings. While I try to remember this every day, this week, on one of my favorite holidays, I will focus on all the many things, big and small, I have to be thankful for.

• Two healthy, smart, beautiful children who bring joy to their family and friends every day.
• Wonderful parents who have always supported me.
• A family whose company I enjoy immensely and seek out as often as I can. I know so many people who dread the enforced company of their families during the holidays, whereas I look forward to it all year.
• Time and energy enough to contribute a couple rather tasty dishes and desserts to our wonderful feast.
• A comfortable home in my favorite neighborhood.
• A community of friends whose love and support has enriched our lives and helped me through these early years of parenthood.

I hold countless other little blessings, sometimes as or more important to cherish as those big ones. Willa sporting her grandmother's curls. The nostalgic joy I feel at Nate's Star Wars obsession. A moment to play "We Gather Together" on my harp. The repeated sayings of my grandfather echoed in our nightly family card games this week.

With so many reasons to be thankful, happiness should come easily to me. I need to remember not to focus on those daily challenges - the sleep deprivation, the meltdowns, the sibling squabbles. And instead remember that which is truly important. Remember how truly blessed I am by practicing gratitude.

The Pros and Cons of Darkness

I love the time of year from October through December. I love all the apple picking, leaf changing, pumpkin carving, costume wearing of October. The scarf wearing, hot cider drinking, family feasting, Thanksgiving of November. And I love the hall decking, carol singing, tree lighting, gift giving of December. But there's something I absolutely hate about this time of year: the dark.

Whether it's my Italian heritage or just my personality, I miss the evening sun. Perhaps I have a touch of SAD, but I find myself continually depressed each time the sun sets before 5. I have noticed a few perks to the early darkness, but they still don't brighten my mood. Here's my personal opinion of Daylight Savings Time:

Cons:

1. We need to leave the park before 5. Normally, I stay until around 6, unless I'm cooking something particularly fancy. It keeps the kids active and allows me time to spend with other parents. The early sun set seriously limits this much needed park time.
2. The kids get restless. They haven't quite adjusted to the time difference so they seem off when we get home from the park and it's still a while before dinner. 
3. Loneliness. There really is something about being alone with the kids when it's dark out that depresses me. I've been occasionally putting on the tv in the evening, something I never usually do, just to alleviate the feeling of isolation I've been getting with the early darkness.

Pros:

1. We've been having dinner earlier. Normally, we eat around 6:30. But with the early park exits and kids getting antsy, I've been serving dinner more like 6.
2. The kids go to bed earlier. Not sure if this stems from their not having adjusted to the hour difference or if the darkness just brings on a feeling of fatigue, but lately my night owls have been asleep by 8 or 8:30, which is pretty sweet.

So there is definitely a bright side to the dark. But I can't shake that sadness that comes with the early sunset. And for the next month, it's going to get worse before it gets better. But at least I know the holidays will lighten up this dark time of year. 

To Nap or Not to Nap (with apologies to William Shakespeare)

Willa seems - no, not seems - is transitioning out of her nap. She occasionally just will not fall asleep, although she has had a consistent nap time for about a year now. I have noticed that when she skips a nap, she does tend to sleep better at night - sometimes straight through until 5 or even 5:30. But of course, no nap means no break time for me in the afternoon and inevitable fussiness in the evenings. So I keep thinking about whether or not to try to cut out her nap - and keep thinking of it in a particular phrasing. Who knew that a love of Shakespearean theatre and the ability to memorize classical soliloquies would come in handy in a mommy blog? 

To nap or not to nap; that is the question;

Whether tis easier on the mind to suffer the pain and exhaustion of frequent night awakenings

Or to take action against the sleepless nights

And by eliminating the nap, to end them. To rest, to sleep:

But not nap no more and by sleep to say we end

The horror of the thousand nights with less than 5 hours sleep; 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished. A full night's sleep;

To sleep but have no nap: aye there's the rub;

For in that napless day, what fussiness may come,

When we have shuffled off that blissful rest period,

Must give us pause: there's the thing

That makes us continue naps for so long;

For who would bear the constant late night cries,

The younger child waking her older brother,

The screams for nursing, and the lack

Of a decent 5 hour stretch of sleep,

When we might ourselves a solution create

By just eliminating the nap?  Who would exhaustion bear,

To moan and groan under a sleepless night,

But the dread of a napless day-

The meltdowns and the lack of any downtime in which to have a moment- puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear that sleep deprivation we have

Than deal with a fussy child.

Thus fatigue may make bad decisions for us all,

And thus the plan of getting rid of the nap

Is less desirable with considering what may happen during the day.

And a night of sweet sleep and rest

In this way becomes less of an option,

And we continue the nap.