Not the most popular of Disney movies, but one of the few offered on Netflix streaming, Mulan happens to be a favorite of mine. So I recently introduced it to Willa and Nate on a rainy day. They both enjoyed it, but not the same parts. Willa likes the beginning when Mulan gets bathed, dressed, and made up for the matchmaker. Nate enjoys the cannon explosions and the main villain. With such gender-typical preferences, I think they may have missed the point of the movie.
While I think both nature and nurture influence behavior, I do think some inherent differences exist between females and males. While teaching preschool, I observed my two-year-old girl students focusing their play around make believe situations while the boys' play took a more physical and often destructive turn. I watched the girls use their verbal skills to argue and manipulate, while boys much more frequently resorted to hitting and pushing. Of course, these observations are purely anecdotal and even two-year-olds have already been socialized. But with such consistent differences at so young an age, I think biology must be involved.
Despite our best efforts at gender neutrality, Nate and Willa clearly exhibit traditionally boy/girl behaviors. Before the children were born, I purchased items in mostly green or yellow, avoiding most pink or blue tones. We painted our nursery green. We always had traditionally girl toys (kitchen, doll, dress-up) available to Nate and traditionally boy toys (cars, trains, work bench) available to Willa. They both enjoy a range of these toys, but the way they play differs. Nate turns anything into a weapon - generally a light saber or gun (and where he even learned about guns is beyond me). At Willa's age, Nate was obsessed with trains and is now obsessed with star wars. While he does have many friends who are girls and seems to be more interested in books and art than sports, his play is often more rough and more physical.
Willa tends much more towards building and make believe. She loves to drape dress-up clothes on herself and walk around the house singing "Let it Go." Already obsessed with clothes, getting her dressed in the morning can be a challenge, since she always has a very strong opinion about what to wear. She occasionally tries to use crayons, paint or chalk as nail polish (something I've tried to put off introducing her to) or worse. Yesterday at the park, she covered her lips in purple chalk saying it was lipstick. Not that she is a delicate flower. Far from it, she has no problem getting dirty and is a very active child. A tough cookie, she is not shy about standing up for herself to other kids (I have heard her say loudly "Never do that to me again!"), probably a byproduct of having to deal with an older brother. But with her love of clothes and interest in cosmetics, she gravitates towards that which is girly.
I am pretty girly myself. I don't like pink, frills, or impractical shoes (despite the fact I don't reach 5 ft on a good day) and I don't mind getting dirty or roughing it (my former life as a primatologist involved living in the rainforest with nothing but a tarp overhang as shelter, a river for a bath, and a shallow hole in the ground for a toilet). But I do like unicorns, flowers, and rainbows. A sucker for lace or a floral print, I enjoy clothes, dressing up, keeping my hair long. Fit, but unathletic, I've always preferred yoga, walking and ballet for exercise. While a staunch feminist, I firmly believe feminism does not just mean that women can do things as well as men (which of course they can - often better, except for maybe heavy lifting), but also that traditionally feminine things are just as important as the traditionally masculine. Ballet is actually more physically challenging than football. And being a stay at home parent is just as, if not more, important than bringing home the bacon.
So I don't think there is anything wrong with being a girly girl, unless it includes being passive or overly concerned about appearance. And I don't think there is anything wrong with being a boy boy so long as it does not involve bullying or super violent behaviors. But I do find it interesting that at such a young age, my children, raised with an open mind regarding gender roles, behave so typically.
My personal favorite part of Mulan is the song "Be a Man", in which Mulan uses her brains as well as physical effort to transform from a weak "boy" to a strong, skilled fighter. Who doesn't love a montage? I hope my children grow up knowing they can use their intelligence and effort to be anything they want to be, regardless of their gender.
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