I think of the calendar in terms of the academic year. For me, Labor Day is vaguely equivalent to New Years Eve and then the new year begins with the start of school. I realize that I personally have not been in school, even grad school, for a rather long time. But that way of thinking stuck. Plus, I taught preschool for years and then worked at a university for another few years. So to me September is the beginning of a new year. And this September is the beginning of quite a few other things as well.
Nate started kindergarten last week, on his fifth birthday. Luckily, he was happy and excited. He ended up at a school and program we really like and so does he. It's kind of a big deal - he is in elementary school. He is a school age kid. He wears a uniform. He has his longest school day ever, but it is going great. Let's hope the trend continues! I am not concerned about academics, which he thrives on, but he has all new classmates and I hope he makes some good friends. Because school is about social development, not just academics.
Willa is starting her very first school experience, preschool on weekday mornings. She is also excited. Throughout the summer, going to school served as an impetus to get her to use the potty. She needs to be potty-trained, which she kind of is...I have a feeling I will get some calls to come change my daughter in the first month or two! We went to visit the teacher and classroom last week and she told me she wanted "to stay there forever". So that's a good sign!
Now that I have both children in school, I will have a few kid-free hours every day. Many people have asked me, "What are you going to do with yourself?" If you're a stay at home parent, you might agree with me that this is a somewhat thoughtless question. What am I going to do with myself? All those things I try, often unsuccessfully, to do when I have two kids constantly requiring my attention. Laundry, cleaning, writing this blog, practicing my harp, going to the grocery store (what a dream it will be to go there alone on a regular basis!) and going to the bathroom without children interrupting me (the lack of doing which has already led to potentially permanent health problems). I have plenty to keep myself busy. But I am planning to do something else - I want to find an income-earning job.
I have said before that I have never felt completely comfortable saying that I'm a Stay-at-home-mom. Not because it's not an extremely important job, but because it feels out of place with who I am. It did make financial sense for me to stay home. But the children are in school now, they are not nursing, they are both happy to be in an environment away from home (fingers crossed they stay that way), so I think it's time. I am not sure what exactly I'll find. It is a bit intimidating being completely out of the work force for five whole years. Even though I spent those five years multi-tasking, dealing with crisis management, and working in a frequent state of exhaustion, I do not feel these experiences have made me more...marketable as an employee.
I will need to redo and reorganize my resume so it's not just thrown out at a glance. I should also probably decide if I want to go back part-time or full-time, though that probably depends on what is available. I have decided, since I have the extreme fortune to be able to decide, that I will only take a position I want. Long hours at some for-profit company, even if I'm well-paid, will not work. I would like to be back at a university or a non-profit, somewhere I enjoy doing something I feel is contributing to society. I am not foolishly thinking that such a position will be easy to find. Who wants to employ someone who hasn't worked out of her house in five years? But I don't need to find anything instantly.
I already have two leads for something I haven't been paid to do since junior school - play the harp. I've been able to actually practice on occasion since the children can now play on their own without complete disaster for short periods of time. So I used some contacts and may have landed myself two harp gigs on a monthlyish basis for a couple local churches. If those opportunities do indeed pan out, I will already feel I've accomplished something big.
The decision to go back to work is mostly a selfish one. But not entirely. I have never wanted to raise my children with traditional gender roles. I want them to see me going to work, to know that the roles of men and women are not fixed. I want both of my children to pursue whatever path they choose, regardless of gender.
It's going to be a big year for all of us, with a lot of changes. Let's hope we meet them with as much joy and excitement as Nate met his first day of kindergarten.
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