Never have I directly posted about politics here. This is a parenting blog whose readers include good people I love and care about with different political beliefs. But I need to express something as a concerned parent. Because being a parent has been the hardest part of this election for me. The hardest part is the unshakeable feeling that this world is not yet worthy of our children.
I was raised to be politically aware and involved. I first remember watching presidential debates in 1984 and think I have rarely missed a presidential debate since. Over the years, I have attended Iraq war protests, volunteered for political campaigns, and participated in marriage equality rallies. So naturally, we discussed this election with Nate. He watched intently as Hillary Clinton made her acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention. He listened to us discussing Trump and he began on his own calling him a bully. He was excited to help his father fill in the circle for the first "girl" president. One of the hardest moments for me the next day was explaining to him that she did not win.
How do you tell your child that sometimes a bully wins? The most important value I want to pass down to my children is kindness. The election of a man who capitalized on fear, mocked the disabled, and degraded women poses a challenge. I do not want my children to think this behavior is acceptable. Nor do I want them to grow up in a world which validates sexism. When I look into the eyes of my beautiful, intelligent daughter, I want to tell her that she can accomplish anything she wants if she works hard enough. But right now, I don't believe that is true.
I have heard many comments describing the protesting as whining, saying liberals (or rather the majority of voters) need to just get over it. That might be an appropriate reaction if we were talking about a sports game. But this is not a game. And this election was not just about economics. Trump used racism and a message of hate to mobilize his base. I accept the possibility that he may have used these techniques simply to boost his popularity, but regardless, acts of hate and bigotry have been escalating throughout the country. In our own neighborhood, one of the most diverse parts of the country, a friend of mine witnessed such an event. She was walking her five-year-old daughter to school and heard a group of elderly people talking about how good it was that Trump was going to return America to its core values. Then a few 8ish-year-old Latino boys walked by and one of the men said loudly, "Their days are numbered."
Speaking out against hate is in no way whining. It is bravely doing what is right. The very idea that a child could be a victim of bigotry in one of the most diverse places in the world is terrifying. If you are a Trump supporter, please make it clear to the President-elect that you are horrified by these incidents and want him to speak out against them. That is something that could help unify the country and might curb this outbreak of bigotry.
But I don't only fear the spreading of hate and bigotry. I fear for the well-being of the planet. I fear that Trump's casual military rhetoric and alienation of our allies could lead to yet another war. And I fear that his denial of the scientific reality of climate change could lead to an environmental collapse in my children's lifetime. Trump has proposed dismantling the EPA and getting rid of environmental restrictions, not to mention discontinuing investment in renewable energy.
These fears have felt immobilizing at times in the past couple weeks. But we concerned parents and others need to move beyond fear and into action. Here are some ideas:
1. Voice your opposition. Whether your preferred medium is writing, art, protest, or conversation with friends, now is not the time to stay silent. It is not just a democratic right to stand up for your beliefs, it is your obligation. We need to be vigilant against hatred, bigotry, and ignorance.
2. Teach your children kindness. No matter how people in power act, children need to learn that bullying and cruelty is unacceptable. Some great anti-bullying books are Each Kindness, The Invisible Boy, The Other Side, and Stand up for Yourself and Your Friends.
3. Teach your children to stay informed. Trump bamboozled people with outright lies about violent crime, immigration, healthcare, and late-term abortion (his characterization of which is particularly grotesquely wrong). We need to teach our children to rely on facts. They need to be knowledgeable of the different issues and have a historical context within which to place them.
4. Donate. If you have the resources, invest in organizations that fight for things a Trump presidency may endanger, such as the ACLU, Center for Reproductive Rights, Earthjustice, and Planned Parenthood. For a complete list, go here.
5. Do your own part to save the planet. With the inevitability of environmental disaster made more imminent, we all need to do our part. Embrace walking or public transportation over driving whenever possible. Eat less meat, particularly beef (since the beef industry is energy intensive). Use reusable grocery bags. Start collecting compost - if you don't have outdoor space, many places accept your compost (there is a compost pickup at the Steinway library on Monday mornings). And please don't fall into an all or nothing way of thinking. We all have a carbon footprint. Making yours a little less will help. And it will teach your children to do the same.
If we raise our children with ideals of love and an awareness of the world, the future will be bright. I really do believe the world is getting better and in times like this I remember this quote,
"The arc of the moral universe is long. But it bends towards justice." Martin Luther King, Jr
Stay strong. Stay kind.